6 Struggles Highly Secretive People Deal With

1. We find it very hard to actually have a friend.
Even if we want to, we find it very hard to break down those wall around us to let some people in. Sometimes we gave people a chance to pursue us and let them break down our walls but when it’s on the verge of crumbling down they decided to give up and just leave.
At the end of the day, those person whom we wanted to befriend with are gone and we’re gonna lie on our bed at night thinking if we really are a bad person for trusting no one.

2. Some unsolved problems just keep on building up.
For us, we think that we are solely responsible for our own shit. It’s uncomfortably hard to share our burdens with other people for fear of misunderstanding and showing weakness. Inevitably, we’re gonna deal with our own shit and those  unsolved ones? They’re  just gonna build up and when another dilemma comes up, imminently break-down would be next.

3. We are ALWAYS ALWAYS being misunderstood.
Okay, so maybe a few people chose to deal with our shit and decided to stay, but let’s be honest with ourselves, they can just deal so much of us. They say all kinds of relationship composed of trust and love, right? But what if they don’t feel it? What if they feel like they’re not being trusted and maybe thinking we’re fake? Again, please understand us that some things are better to be dealt with alone but that doesn’t mean we don’t trust you! We love you! We care for you! But we just have to follow our instinct, because we are who we are. Being there for us and asking if we’re okay is more than enough!

4. In return, no one shares something with you too.
I guess we deserved it, right? Being left out, especially if you have circle of friends. In return, some people find it hard to share something to us too. I really don’t know the reason but my hypothesis is that, since we’re being secretive, they will find someone who is more open to everything where they both exchanging secrets and stuff and they’ll become like BFF and we’re just like the “other friend”.

5. When we breakdown, we breakdown real hardcore!

Okay, so maybe this is our own fault, maybe this is the effect of drinking your own poison. We choose to keep everything to ourselves hoping and thinking that maybe one day these dilemma will walk out of our life soon. But, in some cases, they don’t. They just keep on building up like a frail lighthouse and when a small earthquake strikes, it will lead to a break down. When secretive people break down, we break down hardcore! It feels like the end of the world even though it is not. We drown ourselves on self-loathing, self-hate, we put the blame on our shoulders and it’s like we’re telling our soul to evacuate to a more deserving body. But this only last for a couple of minutes to hours and when we’re tired of crying, of destroying things, of lamenting to a very very depressing playlist, we’re gonna fix ourselves and show to the world like nothing happened. Putting up poker face is one of our hidden talent!

6. But when we move on to our problem, we move on fast.

Since we tend to keep shit alone, we move on very fast because no one knows our problem so no one can remind it off other than our own demons. But since we are made to be strong, we fight! we fight our problems inside, deal with them until everything becomes tolerable… again.