Day #21: What Three Lessons Do You Want Your Children To Learn From You?

1. You can disobey SOMETIMES, but definitely NEVER EVER LIE.

I am the kind of son who sometimes disobey my parents, sometimes I lied and definitely that’s the most thing I hate that I done. I mean, we are humans, we make mistakes and sometimes we are allowed to be selfish to do whatever we want and so we disobey what are parents told us. For me, I think sometimes it’s okay to disobey what your parents told you to know who and what you really are. Through that misfits and mischievous endeavors we can know what really want in life, it’s a primary step of being independent and growing up, although, we must also be responsible at the same time. We or my kids should know their limits or else…. we might suffer from a consequence that isn’t even worth it.

Lying is a different story, I mean you can disobey if you really want, but never lie. Because lying destroys trust, compassion and relationship… all relationship. Lies are the most poisonous thing that human being can do to other humans. Trust is very hard to obtain, and once it is broken, it can never be the same as before. It can lead to a permanent damage to your reputation, dignity and even destroy permanently your valuable relationship to your family, friends and even to your partners.

2. Family before anything, even money.

I love my mom, she raised two handsome human being on this earth alone and I cannot blame her for the decision she made in her life. It might not be the best, as for me, but I know she thought it was the best for us. My mother went to work in Italy when I was like 12, it hurts like hell to see her go out of the door, with her luggage and I remember I was right there at the sofa, looking at her, refusing to escort her at the airport because I cannot see my mother go, I cannot handle the pain of seeing her leave.

As I grow, she wasn’t there for my parent’s meeting in school, she wasn’t there to help me with my homework, she wasn’t there as I grow up, she wasn’t there to comfort me during those moment I am on my knees and barely holding on to everything I was going through, she wasn’t there on my triumphs either, but I know in her heart she is.

But it was not enough for me to think that, don’t get me wrong, I love her, I never hold a grudge on her. She’s my life. However, there are times when I was asking, what if she chose to stay and hold onto us. What if she was there preparing my breakfast every time I go to school, what if she was there to buy the things I need. Maybe things suck less right now.

I think the story of parents working abroad is overrated, I think people overlook the fact that it is also damaging to the children they’re going to left behind. As I always say to myself, when I have a family of my own, no matter how hard the circumstance is, I will never ever leave my family behind. Through thick and thin we’re going to surpass everything holding hands even if we have to live somewhere else, I would do it. Because I really can’t let my kids experienced that feeling of emotional emptiness that I felt as I grow up.

3. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

The fault in this society we live in is that all people always told us that do not make mistakes. Like mistake is equals to death and condemnation. Like making a mistake is the most gruesome thing you can do to your life, mistake is shameful. But I guess, ever since I was a child I really never believed it. When I was a young kid, I always secretly go out there, explore the riverbed, the roads, the streets, the market and the forbidden part of the city. I guess I was always an adventurer, I will never believe a thing they said unless I bleed, unless I get into a fight, unless it left a scar. For me, I treat mistakes like my best friend, the kind of friend that will not tell you what’s right or wrong but will definitely tell you the lesson from it. Mistakes are never wrong, it just the less right choice.

Lessons from our mistakes is like our own value, it’s our own worth. Mistakes make us the best person, mistakes gives wisdom. Mistakes are better than the right choices we make in life. Mistakes is what makes us value everything we have, makes us more compassionate because we’ve been in worse condition and we are not afraid to make another again because we know that we can also make it through that.