Losing Yourself

Before anything else, I’d like to say hi! It’s been ages since I last wrote something and to be honest this is my first time writing again after a couple of months. Well anyways….

I’ve been away for quite sometime. It was a moment of solitude, a moment of peace, a perfect moment to re-introduce myself to me. Then, slowly, I’m building myself up again.

As I shared on my previous post, I was under depression (non-clinical) for almost 7 months because of unemployment. I know it sounds shallow, but if you’re a person like me who grind his ass off in college to secure a good future, I bet you’re going to be down as fuck like me. I never thought that those things was possible, I never thought that working hard can still results in failure. But failure isn’t the worse, you know what’s even worse? LOSING YOURSELF.

Losing yourself in terms of not knowing who you are or what you are anymore. Killing your burning passion because you’re to blind to overlook at all the negatives in life. It’s like torturing your own soul because you are deeply captivated by the darkness of your mind. Because negativity and pain consumes you. It devours everything.

Now, I’m not telling you to be afraid of failure, of losing yourself, in contrast I want you to feel it. To embrace failure, to embrace losing yourself. You see, they are your real friend, they doesn’t sugarcoat themselves to make pain less painful. They are your real friend, a friend who’s going to mold you to become a better person, who’s going to make you a stronger and wiser person. This is your real friend, a better friend than success. Success only make the journey we’ve been through sweet, but it teaches less. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, don’t be afraid to fail. Just don’t let failure overpower the drive in you. Don’t let it control everything.

Now, when that happens, you must have the courage to get up. Because it’s only okay to wallow in this state for a while because life will not take a pause and wait for you to come back. You have to kick your own ass off and get back on the track. Though, you don’t have to force yourself to be happy ASAP, you can help yourself by slowly picking all the shattered pieces inside and put it behind you. Be stronger than you were yesterday, because if you rely on life to make you happy, then you’re relying on the wrong thing. You see, life is a bitch, her work is to bring you down and give you a limitless adversity, your job is to make yourself happy, proud and content. Because as long as your heart is beating, there is purpose, there is hope, there is always going to have an opportunity to start a new beginning. Don’t give up on yourself.

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