Let Us Be!
Kids, teenagers and young-adults are mostly fucked up nowadays and I believe parents are part to blame with.
You see, we are the by-product of our experiences in life. All the mistakes, trials, triumphs, the recognition we received and also the punishment laid on us. But sometimes, some people received more punishment rather than all positive things and it’s so sad to see that most of that comes from our family.
I really do understand that parents just wanted what’s best for their children but sometimes it’s not applicable to every child. Parents wants syncretism to their children, they want harmony and conformity within their house and the society. But sometimes, some people are not born with the same mindset. Some change, some child re-shape their mindset on such an early stage that sometimes became troublesome to parents which often results on controlling, reprimanding, misunderstanding and chaos.
Point is, why do parents have all these urges to control their children?
Just like what I’ve learned in a seminar regarding parental love, the resource speaker told the audience that there are 3 stages of being a parent:
1.) You’re a controller – this is when your children is 5-11 years old. he said you need to control them in order to avert them from possible physical harm. It’s an essential.
2.) You become a teacher – this is when your children is no children anymore, they are teen and young adults. This is when the chaos starts because there’s a lot of intense disagreement between the child and the parents. Mainly because parents try to enforce their ideals and beliefs on their child which the child highly disapprove. On part of the children, this is where we become egoistic, we try to act like an independent person thus results on self-reliance and act so distant towards our parents. We also feel very misunderstood.
3.) Then you are a coach – this is when your daughter/son has reached adulthood or have a family of their own. It’s very wrong to enforce your own ideals, beliefs and ways to your son/daughter on how to become a ‘better parents’. You should only give your opinions and advice to them when they ask for it, otherwise, chaos and permanent relationship damage are imminent.
Why do parents have these urges to control their children like they are some kind of ‘Sims’ and expect them to go where you want them to go, do what you want them to do, behave how you want them to behave. Parents like that should never even became a parents in the first place, they should’ve just bought a robot who would gladly obey their command.
Why can’t parents let their children be children? let their teenager be teenager? their you-adults be young-adults? Why can’t they let their child make mistakes, experience pain and sometimes let life bruise them? Parents could still give love, care, advice and opinions without treating them like a dog.
As you see, I am one of those people who missed a lot of life-experience in his past because I was scared that my parent might scold me for doing something. I lived my life fearing them and it’s not a good thing for me and for them.
I lived my life blithely unaware that I let them put a blindfold in my eyes and believe that I could still live it. For some reason, maybe to my natural rebellion, I took it off. They said to put it back on, but I just shrugged it off. I’m loving the full spectrum that life has to offer. I’m loving every serendipity and chaos this life has. This time, I’m not going back.
Yes, I am bruised, I am scarred, a little bit fractured and my heart has been ripped apart and I accepted it, I liked how it made me stronger, wiser and independent.
Now, If you’re going through the same thing I was. Please, don’t let other people stop you from doing something you want, don’t let other people tell you what and what not to do, this is your life. You have the last voice. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, don’t be afraid to do the less right thing. Mistake is your best friend, regret is your enemy.
You do you.